Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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