So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
