"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
