Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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