I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I supernannyed him into submission
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
