Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
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he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
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Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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