I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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