did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
