Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
