its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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