i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
