She said her name was "party"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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