It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
