New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
