Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
