i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
