Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
