I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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