So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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