whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
