Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
