I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
