Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
