The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize