Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
