the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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