Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
