didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize