Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
