My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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