you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
