We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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