so that wasnt chicken after all
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
