While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
