I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
