Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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