Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i think my tv is drunk
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
