Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
