yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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