Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
