You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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