I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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