are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
