Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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