can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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