This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
