He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
