I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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