I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize