i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
