Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize