Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
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Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You made out with two different species that night
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
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I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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