you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
