I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize