Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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