I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
