Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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