goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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