He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
