dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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