"it" just moved
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
