Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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