I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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