it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize