Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I fill condoms, not promises.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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