I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
