you guys were way drunker than both of me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
