I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
