I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got chris browned last night
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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