It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
