I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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