Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
